Question is....

Can enjoy my life? just hangin' out with my friends. IM ON HOLIDAY FOR GOD SAKE!!!! the longer i depression!! you know how i feel? felt actually. i felt like im a custody/prisoners. like Tommy Soeharto, the prison that he lived theres a tv, good food etc. Since i'm fasting so the good food only comes in 17.54. So back to the main title the question is can i live my life? can i survive? *that one is too much i know. But i know that im in 9th grade i have to prepare for the national exams but it's next year and i just started the holiday so i still got like thousands day to prepare. and i hate to be secluded, it sounds like i have to study all the time, to be honest i don't wanna be a genius, i just want to be smart not a genius there's a differents, A genius is like Einstein but smart is like like i don't know you name it! Smart to me is not like you're good at math or physic but smart to me is you're not good at just one thing for ex. you're good at math but you can also draw or i don't know well maybe design soemthing and you listen to the music to relax. cos sometimes genius people always study and never relax their mind and their brain. Enough for that discussion for now. i don't know whats empty in me cos seems like everything i do is not enough for my parents they always defend my sister for any reason. if my sister hit me they defend her, that is sick!. I mean come on guys you're a scholar! Where is the justice? I get beat up a lot i mean not beat up they punch me but with only the words that i've felt stuck in beating, i cried like a lot cos im a cry baby. i'm strong outside not inside, i'm easily moved. And they are headstrong no offense if you see this and they pushed me hard enough, i can't go out with my own older female cousin! if i go home at late they kept calling me and when i came home they lectured me. how cute is that? cute enough to make me sick, depressed and stressed.

Aight its enough for today. see ya later

p.s: that pics up there is my face right now. full of NONE expression HAHA